A song...very dear to me

I was alone at home that day...feeling left out and upset.They were playing this beautiful track on the radio.That was the first time I heard this song,and just fell in love with it! Here goes the lyrics...

I entered the room
Sat by your bed all through the night
I watched your daily fight
I hardly knew
The pain was almost more than I could bear
And still I hear
Your last words to me
"Heaven is a place nearby
So I wont be so far away
And if you try and look for me
Maybe you will find me someday
Heaven is a place nearby
So there is no need to say goodbye
I wanna ask you not to cry
I will always be by your side"

You just faded away

You spread your wings you had flown

Away to something unknown
Wish I could bring you back
You are always on my mind
About to tear myself apart.
You have your special place in my heart


Always "Heaven is a place nearby
So I wont be so far away
And if you try and look for me
Maybe you will find me someday
Heaven is a place nearby
So there is no need to say goodbye
I wanna ask you not to cry
I’ll always be by your side"



And even when I go to sleep
I still can hear your voice
And those words
I never will forget

" Heaven is a place nearby
So I wont be so far away
And if you try and look for me
Maybe you will find me someday
Heaven is a place nearby
So there is no need to say goodbye
I wanna ask you not to cry
I will always be by your side "


http://mp3.iciba.com/viewvideo-122.shtml


Moments roll on and become memories.Intense ecstacy,anxiety,agony all dwindle with time and new layers of our experiences obliterate them.
They are the words amalgamated with music that bring alive the obliterated,still residing in our memories;people we met and are never to meet again;the paths separated never to cross again;some promises made never meant to be kept,some dreams dreamt never meant to come true.The melody brings back the fragrance of those days;like a rose kept ages ago in the pages of a book,desiccated but the sweet-fragrance still intact...

An eternal solitude...

Murky Earth.

Deep-rooted sorrows crashing on the shores of her heart.

Rains streaming from the corners of her eyes.

Empty of desires.Dreams...surrendered before Reality.

She stretched her hand...the rains plummeted on her palm.

They would'nt stay.Could'nt wash away her clamour.Did'nt feel the same anymore.

Dark clouds,grinning.Horizons,no more visible.

No silver lining for her.No rainbow after the rains.

Hopeless,lethargic,dreary.

Endless torments.Bruised by the agony.

Thunders made her shudder.No hands to clench.

No shoulders to lean on and weep.No consoling embrace.

Could that magic happen once more?Could she again be spellbound by the fantasy?

Another life,maybe.

Another fate.

But this fate?This life?

It was meant for this perpetual solitude...

The Tacit Love...2

[...continued]

The End:

'Evening Delight' was indeed a compliment to Dhruv's choice.It was just a perfect place for the occasion.The walls were done in peach with prints of red roses all over.Classy lamps were dangling from the ceiling,encircling a sophisticatedly placed chandeliar.The settees had a velvety mauve cover coupled with a glass table,effortlessly sparkling flamboyance.Quite a contrast to the light cases,the place had only a hovering glimmer.

"So should we order some food?" Dhruv asked.
As Dharya did not want to eat anything heavy,she ordered for a cheese pizza and a vanilla ice-cream with a strawberry topping.

"So what after today,Dhruv?"

"What,what after today?"

"I mean,we were friends.Then you came across the idea of gifting me this" she said,her fingers showing her Saree,"and then you asked me for a date.What after THIS,after today?"

"You mean something like,umm,like I should propose you now or something?" He said,with his eyes broadened to the utmost.

"I'm not going to teach you everything,Dhruv!"

"What!" he said,laughing,as if some joke had been cracked."You are not serious,are you,Dharya? Finish your ice-cream and I'll go and pay off the bill."

Dharya watched him rise and walk off.The people around still had cheerful faces.The red roses still looked beautiful on the peach walls.While the light from overhead danced on her,making her look magnificient,the red strawberry burried itself into the foamy cream.It looked like a little heart encased so much in love that no other emotion could ever touch it.It looked like a tiny rose bud that had been broken off its stem even before it could bloom."

"What is it Dharya?Now,come on! Don't take everything so seriously!Come lets leave now."

The word 'leave' made her smile.He was talking of leaving even before he had held her.Her smiling face looked sadder and more griefstuck than a tearful face.She had to leave without tasting the already thawed ice-cream,in which hid her imagined love-filled heart.

Dhruv's black car shone beneath the silvery moonlight.It was a beautiful night.The sky,adorned with the silver moon and twinkling stars,looked new.But nothing was new,she knew.Every night brings the same moon,and the same stars twinkle.And she knew love would never be so new to her again.From then,everytime she'd think of love,it would be Dhruv she would always be thinking of...

The Tacit Love...1

The car finally stopped outside the 'Evening Delight' and Dharya apprehensively stepped out of it.She pulled her sari over her left shoulder and took its end in her right hand.As she moved backward to shut the door on her side,her eyes met his-the sixth time in half an hour now.

She had barely stood below the shower ,when her phone beeped.

"I'll be there in not more than fifteen minutes,right?Hope you are ready? And I'm just too excited to see you in that red piece of cloth!" And then,for the first time in her life she draped around herself a sari.A gorgeous red chiffon,gifted to her by Dhruv.She gathered her hair and clutched them together into a bun,deliberately leaving few locks falling on her face.

This was the day she had been awaiting since 23rd of July,the first time she had felt something for this man.She did have many men staring at her,admiring her beauty or wanting to take her out for lunch.But it was him from whom she desired it all.Maybe today she'd finally hear what she had both been expecting and dreaming of.


The Beginning:

It had been raining all night and the morning was misty.A soft breeze whispering something into her ears blew across Dharya.She set off with an umbrella to the nearest gift shop.It was her colleague Ajay's birthday.But she was quite unsure of what to but him.

The shop was empty except for two or three people browsing through the various items.Soon she was one among them.

Ajay was not at all into house decoration.So a show-piece or any decorative item would probably be a bad idea.Gifting him with a shirt would be too informal.A watch?He never wore any!

She never knew it would be this difficult.Willing to give up and diminish her ideas just to a card,she felt a pair of eyes looking at her.She looked back only to find their owner approaching her.
"Well Miss,you seem to be in some trouble.I would be honoured to help you,if you wouldn't mind taking my help,that is!"

He had a deep,sober voice.She looked at him and gave a faint smile.

"Well actually,it is one of my friends' birthday and I can't decide what to gift him with."
"Okay,so its 'him'!" he replied,seemingly growing thoughtful."Does he like music?"
"Ah,of course he does!" she automatically spoke out,wondering how it never occurred to her.
"You very well know what his birthday gift could be then,don't you?"
"Yes", she said, looking at him."Thanks,Mr...?"
"Dhruv.It was quite simple!"

Dharya turned to leave when that voice stopped her.

"Would I not have the pleasure of knowing this pretty lady's name?"

She felt a sudden bump in her stomach as she stretched her hand to introduce herself.She looked straight into his brown eyes and it was when he spoke again that she realised she was still holding his hand.

"I presume that today you are free,it being a Sunday.So,could I take you out for coffee and treat myself with your company?Please!"

Could she ever turn down this request,which was more importunate than a mere proposal!

Dharya...falling in love

Had she said a 'No' to him that day,she would surely regret it later.For now,she knows,how amazing and incredibly caring a person Dhruv is.She could never escape without cherising the few moments she regularly spent with him.He had a charisma in everything he did and she could never hold herself from getting lost into those deep brown eyes.She loved it when he'd want to talk for some more time before she would hang up and his pleadings to go for a drive everytime they would meet,using it as an excuse to elongate her company.She would purposely keep numb over the phone and wait till they were both all silent and smile to replace the absence of words.She often wondered how abruptly their friendship had began,only to build a bond which had no name,no form;but yet was the stongest of all.

A smile on his face could make her forget all her despair and a frown on her face would dismay him.Sometimes no words could be apt for her to articulately express how much he meant to her; and often just his concerned looks would convey to her that she was as precious to him,that he cared for her as much as she did. He had never held her hand while crossing the road or touched her cheeks to wipe her tears off.He had never kissed her goodnight.They had never had coffee from the same cup ,nor had he ever brushed her hair off her face when both her hands were busy.But some part of her strongly believed that they were not just what they called each other.They were not just friends. Not really after that friday evening.

Like usual ,they were sitting in that same cafeteria where Dhruv had first brought her,perfectly a month ago;sipping coffee,looking everywhere else but at each other and discussing their day. Suddenly she realised they were at a loss of words again.Dharya struggled to grasp some topic that could last long,but nothing came up at all.Hopefully she looked up at Dhruv and again felt that bump in her stomach.That same stare from his brown eyes made her forget everything. Those looks in his eyes would make her feel belong to this man.

"Dharya,I want to give you something."

What more now did he still have to give her!He had gifted her with her most splendid evenings, whose memories could help her pass a lifetime;a bewitching happiness amalgamated by an emotion aroused for the first time.He had introduced her to something called love.

"I want you to open this only once you've reached your room.Having done so,give me a call."

Saying so,he pushed a box towards her,impeccably wrapped in lavender with tiny silver stars shimmering all over. Smiling a 'Thank you' at him,she rose to leave.Dhruv offered to give her a lift. She placed the box on her lap and looking to her right she noticed Dhruv's watch showing ten minutes past nine and a tiny '23' encrusted on the right side of the dial. When the car stopped outside her apartment,she turned towards Dhruv and said a soft 'Goodnight'.Amusingly he kissed on her right cheek and smilingly said"Call me okay?"

Yes,it was her most beautiful night and her first sleepless night too!First,an elegantly wrapped gorgeous red sari,then a kiss and to make it all easy for her to guess,he asked her for a date on Sunday.

Switching off her table lamp she shut her eyes and revisited the cafeteria,trying to relive every moment of the evening which was now made so special.Some thought stopped her and she opened her eyes to concentrate."Yes!",she remembered.It was indeed 23rd of July;a date which maybe she'd want to celebrate some twelve months later!

[to be continued...]

Lost...in Oblivion

The music would recuperate Rudali each time her lips touched the grooves of her flute.The rhythm would dance on her lips,flow through her throat and at last would reach her heart-the abode of her lost lover.All she had with herself was a never-ending isolation and a dream,yet to come true.
The gleaming rays of the winter sun tried to smile at the enormous,crystal-clear river, which only subjugated it.The presumptuos sky is always only a silent beholder of all such specious exploits.The nature seemed to mimic the malevolent acts of the mortals on Earth. As the despotic river unveiled the odious and precarious outline of Earth,the musical carpet of the flute took Rudali to a different world. To her past.The days when her village was always decorated with the happy faces of its people and the fluttering hearts of children.On the carpet,she flew to the village which was once hers.

Her hut stood in the heart of the village,its walls always painted with ecstasy. Her marriage had been fixed with Zubein, the man who had declared his love to her. The winds blowing through the village seemed to declare the great celebration,which was on its way.The marriage party danced and drummed its way to Rudali's home to finalize the matrimonial contract. She was draped in a vermilion hue Rajasthani saree, the end of which was pulled over her head. Its golden embroidered design shone beautifully, giving her a magnificent look. The tinkling sounds of her glass bangles produced a musical effect to the soft murmers of the guests.
Everything seemed to dance on the strings of fate. And suddenly, deceiving every eye,it tore itself from the hands of the Supreme power.
The next morning when the raw rays of the sun shone over the village,Rudali went to the riverside to take her bath.The same night she felt feverish and blind in eyes. Soon ugly soars covered her skin and an incurable disease veiled her and consumed on her beauty and happiness.

The villagers believed that the river had caused the disease. So beside the river she lies today, abnegated by Zubein, her parents and all villagers. Away from the touch of care and love she keeps waiting for her lover to come back one day.The flute,once gifted by Zubein plays words for her to allure Zubein towards the music.
The flute's words arouses clemency in the tiny hearts of the birds flying overhead.The rose sheds its petals to avert its discovery by any lover.The sky disburdens its sympathy as raindrops,which with their soothing kiss try to heal her soars.
But no human eye ever look back at her.No mortal makes a prayer for the inessential being.Rudali's wimpish pshychology never understands the heinous, ruthless laws of mankind.Her lips continuously play on the flute.

Her life was too small to see the end of the cruelty.Her dreams were'nt meant to turn true. Finally,after the daylight had dimmed,death tiptoed on to her.Like the day,Rudali's sign of existence,the depth of her love,her dreams were all lost in oblivion.The sands, on which her corpse lay, would conceal her soon.The darkness of the night would sheath her painful severance. But still,with an empty hope her apathetic eyes stared at something...the flute.

The music of night....

The sun was almost back on the lap of the crimson-ochre horizon,while thin clouds adorned the turquoise sky.The speck of yellowish orange blurry light of the oil-lamps lit the dark room.I sat on the chair and closed my eyes.The serenity of the sweet smell of the tranquil evening was augmented when it blended with the fragrance of incense sticks.The aroma began spreading all over the house eulogizing the euphony of the three elongated, rhythmic, immaculate music of the conch shell,punctuated by the rhyming verses of the Bhagwad Gita-read aloud by a female voice.

"Dadababu,shall I send you tea now?"
A lean,old,spectacled man,wearing a vest and lungi stood at my door.The keeper of the forest bunglow.


The bunglow was a single-storeyed building,dilapidated in form,spider-webs hanging from every corner of the rooms;tall green trees encased the bunglow and a tiny pond at a corner.
I walked up to the terrace,which was not very high from the ground.Its parapet had grown green with the growth of climbers.
I knew I had made a good choice as the place had the perfect ambience I had been desiring for,to spend my weekend vacation in.


It grew dark with every passing minute and the night gradually filled the forest.The yellowish-green leaves began transforming into raw umber hue and then black.The pond was covered with moss,making it appear morbid.The moonlight seemed to dance on the water ripples.Feeling an urge to smoke,I lit a cigarette.

"Your tea is here.You were not in the room,so I came up here searching for you.It is not safe to move around in a forest bunglow without light by your side."
I identified the voice as the same voice reciting the holy scriptures.She was holding a lantern in one hand and my cup of tea in the other.Draped in a blackish-crimson saree,its one end covering her head,made her look older than she was;which I realised when she came closer.Without looking at me,she handed me the cup and placed the lantern on the parapet.
Her face glowed under the moonlight.Large kohl-smudged eyes.Locks of hair loosened free from the knot,falling on her face.A tiny stone-stud nose ornament glistened on her perfectly shaped nose.She looked beautiful even in her messy appearance.


"We sleep early here.So you will be served dinner within an hour."
She turned away and disappeared into the ivory darkness.The flame of the lantern flickered,blackening the glass case with its touch.



I had expected her to come and serve dinner.But this time it was the old man.
After dinner,I sat with my canvas and palette before the window.

The night had suddenly grown loquacious.Distant cries of nocturnals,soft rustles of the leaves and a mesmerizingly soothing sound of water flowing somewhere;colours on my palette and bold strokes on my canvas.Could I paint the assuaging music of the silent night on my canvas?

And Dream,with noiseless footsteps,like a noctambulist dawdled around in the night.


And again she made me euphoric with her intrusion.Narcotic like the quiet night,her sudden appearance almost drugged me into a phase of anxiety.
"So you are an artist by profession?"she asked,eying the painting.

"No.I do not economically depend on it." I replied,looking at her.She looked just the same like she had in the evening.Only her face looked sadder now.

Quite unsure of how I was to react to a lady's presence in my room,at this time of night,I however,asked her to sit on the bed,by my side.
She accepted only a part of my request and sat down on the floor.



The prussian blue sky somewhere blended with black,viridian hue or burnt sienna forest stretched over the pallid background and a still whiteness lurched over the landscape.And the intense, frenetic tremors of my heart under this anonymous,fanciful emotion first aroused? What colours would I paint them with?Exotic they were to the colours of my palette.

[to be contd...]